So, How’s Married Life?
Here’s a fun slide show of some pictures from the past few weeks. Jono’s first taste of sushi at my 26th birthday dinner in may. What a champ! Our newest cat, Zoey, being a terror and climbing into all sorts of home appliances and finding joy in the smallest of things (oh to be a cat). There are also a few photos from some work events I had in May. Jono and I got to go to a very fancy dinner so we had fun dressing up. Jono has also been playing on a local bocce team where we’ve met some really fun people.
We’ve been married for 9 – count them, 9 – months now. Wow, time flies. I can’t believe this time last year we were neck-deep immigration forms and fees, dress shopping, cake tastings and a million other planning tasks. It’s been a great 9 months. I think the best thing has been to have a regular routine. A life that is just full of normal life things. No forms, no waiting for letters in the mail, no planning. Just going to work, spending time together, making new friends and thinking about the future. The fun things. This is what life is about – the middle. So much of life is the middle. We get so focused on the big events in life such as graduations, weddings, babies, buying a house and any of the other big firsts that happen in your first 30 years of life that when those things are so frequent we are in the middle. That can be scary. You see many people have to jump from big event to big event otherwise they don’t know what to do with themselves. I think being happy in the middle is a bigger challenge than most people think is it. If we think about it at all. If you can be happy with your partner during the boring, mundane times when you’re working to save up money and vacation time for life’s big events, then really you’re set. Of course you have to be able to get through the crisis too, but hopefully those don’t happen too often.
This brings me to my favorite question I’ve been asked since we’ve been married: “So, how’s married life?” often followed up by “Isn’t it just the best!?” if the person is also recently married. I’m puzzled as to how to respond to this question. Jonathan and I lived together for more than 2 years before we got married and were lucky enough to be able to build an extremely solid foundation for our relationship by having to talk so much the first 10 months of our dating lives. I would say honestly that married life is the same as things were before we got married, on a day-to-day level. But that’s what we wanted. That’s why we lived together first. This is such a strange question to me. So yes, married life is ‘the best’ but we planned it that way. It feels odd to respond with “well, it’s pretty much the same” – like that’s too boring, like I should be shouting out how AMAZING it is to be married. I think I would only say that something is AMAZING when its new and I’m surprised at how much I like it. That does not apply to marriage. Well, maybe to some people, but definitely not us. Things are the same, because we want them to be. We like how we are. Now, I would say we continue to learn things about each other and our relationship – that doesn’t just end because we’re married now. But, I would think that will always be true. I was discussing this with mom a few weeks ago and she found this question as weird as I do. Maybe it’s something only my generation is doing? She said she doesn’t remember being asked that when she was a newlywed.
All that to say, we’re doing great. Both of our jobs are going really well. Things are starting to get busier for me, and it feels really good. I have a bigger sense of belonging now that I have a few months under my belt. We’re having our company picnic next week and there’s a cupcake contest, so I’m making mini snickers cupcakes 🙂
We’re really looking forward to heading to England the first two weeks of October to see family, friends and have the blessing. We’ve started planning things with Jono’s family and it’s getting me really excited!